“What are you doing about the fall?”

This has been a frequently asked question amongst parenting message boards, Facebook groups, text messages, etc. It is such an emotionally charged topic and process, and there are so many moving parts at play here. I thought I might try to articulate my process in thinking about this as a parent and as an educator. Please note that these are my opinions, valuable only to those that choose to make them valuable.

There are a handful of large considerations that I used to guide my thought process:

1. Safety, including science and common sense
2. Socialization of children
3. Mental wellness of faculty
4. General human being stuff

Safety

I have a brilliant, lifelong friend who is a scientist and, therefore, processes life and the world as a scientist. On a recent FB post, he wrote a sober reflection on his way back to South Korea after a sabbatical in the states:

“As my family is on the way to board a plane, fly 12 hours and go back home to Korea, I’ve been very concerned about the virus. In light of the high infections we moved our flight up 2 weeks, with the concern of being infected at LAX or the flight being outrightly cancelled. I wanted to ask the question, “How do I avoid being infected? Where do infections occur?” I’ve heard lots of conjecture here in the US, things like infections happen at Trump rallies or BLM protests etc. These are loaded with passion, political opinion but no actual evidence or substance. This is because infections in the US are so widespread, and some considerable portions of the population don’t actively avoid spreading the virus…I’m a numbers guy. South Korea, with a population of 50 million, had 35 new cases the other day. The US with 330 million had 60,000 new cases. Even with the population differences accounted for, the US has 259 times more daily infections than Korea. Because of this, Korea has the ability to track every single infection. Koreans are obsessive about being healthy. The fear of getting sick and spreading the virus is ubiquitous in Korea: near 100% are wearing masks…Even some public schools allow students once a week to come to school, with some severe social distancing measures. This is because less than 1 in 1 million people are infected daily, and every single one that is known is tracked and quarantined. Because of this, we are now able to ask my question, “Where do infections or outbreaks occur?” And here’s the answer: 1. Churches/retreats 2. Nightclubs and bars 3. Schools 4. Call centers 5. PC Cafes 6. Karaoke rooms 7. Cafés…So what are the risk factors for COVID infection? 1. Inside 2. Crowded 3. Long time 4. Lots of talking, singing. I need to avoid these kinds of places…With masks on, you don’t see infections of passerby’s or brief encounters in a 7-11. It seems a longer time exposure is necessary. And let me say one last thing. COVID-19 is not the deadliest virus with only about 1-5% of infected dying, yes that is true. Ebola and MERS, are much deadlier, at about 35% fatality. But no one from our living generation has every seen a deadly virus that is more contagious that COVID-19, with most people showing mild symptoms if any at all…Even with the strict measures the world has taken, it continues to spread. COVID-19 preys on what makes us human, our societies, our civilized structures, and our closest relationships. And because it doesn’t kill us outrightly like MERS and Ebola, it is the deadliest virus that humankind has seen in centuries. But that’s what also makes it easy to stop. It is ineffective if we don’t allow it to spread to others.”

To me, it seems logical. If something destructive is moving, try to restrain its movement. We have heard many different, sometimes contradictory, discoveries in the last several months about this coronavirus. It’s hard to know what to believe. But over and over again, what has remained consistent is that extended indoor interactions with talking/singing are breeding grounds for Covid spread. We need to stop the spread.

Socialization

Many influential voices talk about how children need to get back to socializing, to feel the safety of the school environment, and to benefit from face-to-face teacher instruction. Here, here! I wholeheartedly agree! Parents feel the weight of this! However, I’d like to realistically consider what schools will actually look like in the fall and beyond. Opinions aside, schools this fall are not going to be the same environments we once knew and our children once experienced. With increased enforcement of rules pressed by the fear of contagion, there is no way that schools can be the same. If and when we make the decision to send our children back to school, we need to remember that we are not sending them back to the same place they left. While change can sometimes be positive to the well-being of children, we have to consider as parents, soberly and honestly, if our children will be receiving the kind of socialization that we’re hoping for when the school year arrives.

Mental Wellness of Teachers

This fall, teachers will have to enforce as much as they educate, and likely more. They will have to enforce social distancing, mask-wearing, temperature checks, cleaning, separate materials and work stations, along with the pre-Covid usuals – behavior, attention, school procedures. They will have to keep an eye out for those children who are sent to school even though they are sick (it is an EVERYDAY occurrence in schools – no exaggeration) and also handle the displeasure and frustrations of parents struggling with this current situation. The fear of losing sick time to Covid-related absences, losing health benefits and pension if they take a leave, job security, inadequate PPE, classrooms and school buildings that are falling apart, not to mention the complexities of just teaching – trying to elevate their voices through masks and shields to teach lessons, navigating disinfecting between periods, technology, socially distanced fire drills and active shooter lockdown drills, etc. To say this year will be stressful for teachers, whether or not they want to do live instruction, is a huge understatement.

Personally, I am terrified to go back to work. People often forget that educators are human beings. We fear sickness, death, how Covid will affect our families. We don’t get paid much or get much respect from society, but we do love your children. One observation that I have made is that many people volunteer us to be heroes. I find this to be so disheartening. They say things like, “Well if doctors, nurses, and grocery store employees can sacrifice, then teachers should as well.” While I don’t disagree with the general theory behind that, I do feel that they should volunteer themselves before commissioning other people to the front lines. We have a shortage of educators, paraprofessionals, and substitutes. I truly encourage people to volunteer or change professions if they feel so strongly about sacrificing for our children. We definitely need more committed people with firm convictions about education.

I would also like to share that I miss my students. I miss them so much, it hurts. I miss our inside jokes, I miss their whines, I miss their sometimes toothless smiles, and I even miss how the older ones avert their eyes when I see them in them hallway. I am overcome with fear by the skills they might be losing, the confusion they might be experiencing, and the stress the parents are dealing with right now. I wish I could see them in person and have everything go back to “normal”.

General Human Being Stuff

Normalcy is what the world is craving right now. But the world, post-Covid, will likely not be the “normal” that we once knew it to be. My boys always ask, “Mommy, when the coronavirus is over, could we go to our favorite restaurant that night?” Oof. I’m afraid there will likely be a long transition coming out of this pandemic that may alter the way we understand “normal” indefinitely. This is certainly true for schools. And churches, and businesses, and households. There are some very large realities that are at play here, including the economy, social injustices and inequities, politics, and leadership to name just a few. We don’t get to make decisions about sending our kids to school in a bubble. I fully appreciate the vastness and complexities of these kinds of decisions and personally struggle to figure them out this fall along with the rest of America.

My own kids did pretty well with distance learning and are fairly independent learners. They are also twins so they have a forever playmate (and fight-mate). I firmly believe in the very strong and valid argument of kids needing social interaction. We are looking for other ways for them to be goofy and silly with other kids. I’m just not sure that schools in our current state of fear and stress will necessarily be a good environment for my boys to thrive. It may even breed more fear within them. My children expressed to me that they don’t want to go to school and feel like they can’t be free, even if that means they won’t meet their teachers face-to-face. I know that that face-to-face time with teachers is so important, so we’re trying to figure out other ways for them to experience institutionalized success and receive praise/challenge from other adult authority figures but within a smaller and more structured environment than school. I know that there is a wide range of very valid points in this discussion. Some of my dear friends are sending their kids back to school while I keep mine at home. This just happens to be where I land. We all have different ways in which we make decisions about our families, our work, our leisure, our values. A little grace while we figure this out, some courtesy for one another, a posture of humility, and a helping hand might even be better for humanity than any vaccine.